Forever
by alwaysremember01
Summary: post Mockingjay, but before the epilogue. Both Katniss and Peeta are trying to help each other get on with their lifes and get rid of both Peeta's episodes and Katniss with her nightmares. hunger games does not belong to me, it belongs to suzanne collins
1. Chapter 1

** Forever**

**The Hunger Games does not belong to me, it belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Peeta is back, and I should be happier, but I cant bring myself to face him, what if he tries to kill me again? I know its not him but seeing the eyes of the one person that I love unconditionally filled with anger and hate. Just the thought of losing him to the capitol again, even after it has been overthrown is too hard to bare. I consider calling Haymitch, but can't bring myself to get to the phone, as I can hardly move. I don't want Peeta to see me like this though, drunk and crying on the couch. I know one of the only thing he detests more than the capitol, is me drinking. Still, I didn't let that get in my way, I was just consumed with loneliness that I decided to pick up a bottle. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew I shouldn't, but I decided to ignore it. As another tear drips of my face, I decide that is the last tear I'm going to cry today. I make that declaration to myself, and there is a knock on the door.

I don't reply to it, because it could be Peeta. With that thought, who other than Peeta comes through the door, his face gleaming with joy that I can only hope are in anticipation of seeing me. That gleam is gone when he sees me though, its replaced with concern and I know I have let him down again.

"katniss, what's going on?" he says with all the sadness in the world, more than I could ever ask for. "Why are you crying?" he continues. I hope he wont notice the smell of alcohol on my breath, but as always I am mistaken. His face cringes when he smells it, I can tell he's not pleased, but somehow not angry either. I'm confused, this array of emotion is to much for me while I'm in this state. "Why are you drinking? How drunk are you? Should I be worried? Is this because of me?"

How can he think that this is because of him? Well it kind of is, but its not his fault. It's almost unbearable to answer him, but I need to answer him, he deserves it.

"I'm pretty drunk as you can see, I don't really remember when I started drinking or why. I don't want you to be worried, but it might be appropriate for you to be. To answer your final question, its not because of the Peeta that I know, its because of the Peeta that the capitol created." As I am about to keep going, I start to feel sick, my facial expression must be gruesome, because Peeta goes and grabs a bucket. Then walks me over to the bathroom. Why am I such a disaster? Why can't I manage not to disappoint him? Why does he need to take care of me, when considering what he has been through, shouldn't I be taking care of him?

Finally, I come out of the bathroom and I'm almost acting like myself. I start to look for Peeta, but he is nowhere in sight. I start to stumble up the white pristine stairs, hoping to maybe find him up there waiting for me. Sure enough, he is waiting there, has got my bed made and set up for me to lay down and sleep, there is no smile on his face, but not an angry face either. Just a disappointed one. He motions for me to lay down, and I don't argue. As he starts to leave the room, I finally speak up and ask him if he will stay.

"Not tonight, Katniss. I have to go get situated at home. Being away for six months kind of has its toll on a house."

I don't want to accept it, but before I can argue any further, I am pulled into the darkness of sleep. As i start to lose focus of my surroundings, I can see a mockingjay's feather signalling that I might actually sleep well tonight.

**Peeta's POV**

I can't believe she is drunk, and that its my fault. I can not permit a surge of heavy emotion though, I cant let an episode happen right now though, when the subject of my aggression during my episodes is right next door, drunk and vulnerable. I will deal with it tomorrow, when she is out hunting. I'm thinking about walking over to Haymitch's house and demanding why he let her get like that. I'm also wondering when this all started.

As i walk over to his house, I'm trying to calm down, its not working so well. I barge into the door and I'm not supprised to see Haymitch on the couch, with a bottle of liquor. "Why the hell is she like that!?"

"Nice to see you too kid. I haven't stepped in that door and she has barely stepped out of it for about a month, I didn't know anything was wrong, she's not a big talker, that one."

"Did she take a bottle the last time she was here?"

"Yes, and she had a right to, with you being gone and having to deal with all of the nightmares, and the grief, and of course the guilt over your torture. Don't get me wrong kid, you needed those six months to help with your issues, but it had to be hard on her."

"I need to know what to do about it, you are still my mentor anyway. Should I stay away, or should I be right there with her through this? I'm just lost is all, seeing her like that, well it makes my stomach churn to see her in pain."

"Well kid, just do what she needs you to do. Don't let her have anymore alcohol, be there for her, and keep yourself healthy. That's all she really wants and needs." says Haymitch with a grin.

I might just be ready to talk to her when she wakes up. Instead of going over to my house, I decide to go over to her house, so I can make sure the first thing she sees when she wakes up is me. I might even make some bread too.

**reviews make me smile. =)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own the Hunger Games, I just love the characters**

**Katniss's POV**

I wake up with a horrendous headache. I can't even really remember where I am initially, I have to look around. I'm in my room, that's odd, I don't remember coming up here. I smell bread. Peeta must be here, that's good…Wait?…Wat?! Did he bring me up here? Did he stay the whole time I was asleep? Is he mad? Did I cause him to have an episode? I don't know any of those answers, and that really bugs me. I start to get up, and the bed creaks, not suprising, it always does.

"Katniss, are you awake?" I hear Peeta calmly yell. He must be on his toes if that's what tells him I'm awake. I don't reply, instead I just walk downstairs. For some reason his face lights up when he sees me, although I have no idea why. I have bed head still and you can tell what I feel like by the way I look.

"Sit down for a second, I have something for you." he tells me calmly. He goes into the kitchen, and in a minute he comes out with a full breakfast, some water, and some ibeprofen. He definetly cares about me, theres no doubt about that. I look up at him and smile. He smiles back and leans down and kisses me.

"thank you for the breakfast." I say, still in awe of what just happened. I never thought that would happen again, especially after how he apparently saw me last night. I've missed him so much, it actually seems like the old Peeta resurfacing.

"Anytime" he says with a grin.

"So, it was pretty bad last night haw?"

"Yes, but I talked to Haymitch and he helped me understand why you were like that. He also said that this has been going on for about a month. Has it?" he still manages to be calm, I thought he would be beyond mad by now. Yet he still remains totally peaceful.

"Yes, but only the secluding myself. The drinking has only lasted about two weeks." I reply feeling disgusted with myself. Yet he just keeps grinning at me. I have no idea why though. He thought he was coming home to an alive girl who loved him. I love him, and my hearts beating, but that doesn't mean I'm alive.

"Well, I think I'm going to have to help you get better and work through this." He has a certain determination to his voice.

"I would like that, I was only doing it because you weren't here." I say with a smile as big as the moon I imagine because his face lights up like it does whenever I smile.

We end up talking about everything, except the past. I don't know the triggers of his episodes, and I don't know what one is like, I've never witnessed one. I really don't want to either, because I imagine its painful for him. It's 9 pm, we have been together 12 hours just talking. I can't believe it, he is back. I really don't want to face the reality that he probably has to go home soon and I will be left all alone without the him or the liquor to keep the nightmares at bay.

**Peeta's POV**

There is nothing like this in the world, just talking to her. Refiguring her out. Nothing will ever compare to her either. I'm so intrigued by her that I can't bring myself to head home, even though I should. She asked me yesterday to stay, so maybe she will ask again. I can hope anyway. I recognize every single detail about her, what makes her laugh, what makes her mad, what makes her smile, and what makes her blush. I will never meet another person like this as long as I live. I want to propose now, but I know its not going to be safe for her living with me with my episodes, so I won't. Even though I will never be able to live without her, she's not safe with me. My episodes may have been controlled yesterday and today, but they are still unpredictable, and mostly directed towards her. She has to be careful, when I'm mid-episode, nothing but knocking me out will stop me. Besides, I don't even know if that was just the liquor talking when she asked me to stay. I just don't know what to do about our situation. I might have to talk to Haymitch again, or I might have to leave her, sure she would be miserable for a little while, but at least she would be safe. Could I live without seeing her smile or hearing her laugh though? I really don't think I would survive for very long like that. How could I not know if she was safe? She might go back to drinking and end up like Haymitch for the rest of her life. No, I cannot let that happen, absolutely not. I get up of the couch and start to gather my things.

She sees this and commemts, "Are you leaving?"

"Yes, you need to sleep, you didn't feel good this morning, and I'm sure you don't want me keeping you awake. Good night, try to sleep. I love you." I kiss her forehead and start to head out the door when she speaks again.

"Peeta, wait, will you stay tonight?" I was hoping she would ask that.

"Of course I will, but are you sure?"

"Absolutely." she says with a smile.

It seems like two minutes by the time we go upstairs and lay down. We don't do anything, but it felt so good knowing I have the girl I love sleeping soundly in my arms. I think I might actually sleep tonight knowing that she is right there.

**Please leave a review, i really like seeing what my readers think**


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own the Hunger Games**

**Katniss's POV**

When I woke up, he was still by my side. I turned over to see him just smiling that amazing smile that I love so much just smiling at me, why I'm receiving this treatment is unclear, but I'm going to enjoy it anyway.

"How did you sleep?"

"Peacefully, thanks to you." his smile widens at this.

"Amazingly, knowing you were safely in my arms." I can tell I'm blushing, he leans over and kisses me softly, then parting my lips and deepening the kiss. When he backs away, my smile is so wide that he kisses me again, and then he goes downstairs to make us a divine breakfast. As I start to get up, he stops me.

"No, stay up here, I will bring it to you and we will eat it together." he smiles while he says it. I don't object since he seems to be so happy to do it, and I don't really mind the idea myself.

It helped so much to have Peeta by my side last night. Being snuggled up in the warmth of his arms, I could hear his heart beat, and there really is nothing more amazing as having him beside me safeguarding my dreams, keeping the nightmares away. Since it's the second night in a row with no nightmares, I'd say Peeta is having a profound effect on my mood and my sleeping patterns. All I can think is _I love him, I love him, I love him_, how am I going to ever be able to tell him that though, I may not ever be able to. I'm so blissful at this very moment I don't know if it could ever be better. I decide to go back to sleep for a while until he comes up here and we eat our breakfast.

After what feels like an hour, he finally walks upstairs and into the room, still smiling and laughing at me not being totally awake.

"I thought you would have got up by now, the rebel that you are. Well we have the chef's favorite food today, bread and eggs, just for the chef's favorite person." I blush, and yet again he kisses me, but this time just for a second, and he sits down on the bed. There, we eat our breakfast together, he feeds me and I feed him the bread. Enjoying our breakfast and each others company, I am content and I think he is too. We eventually finish the breakfast, and no matter how much I don't want him to, he gets ready to go to work. Since the bakery has been remodeled, the only proper baker in town is Peeta, its his first day there, and I don't want to see him go, and it might reciprocate old memories and make him have an episode, turning on me. I start to get ready to go in with him, to be there for him today. He comes out of the bathroom all ready for the day when he sees me equally as ready. He looks puzzled at this.

"Are you going hunting today?"

"No."

"Then where are you going?"

"With you to the bakery." I reply, knowing that he is going to fight me on this.

"I can't let you do that."

"Are you going to stop me?"

"No, I will just ask you to please not go. I don't know if those memorys will generate an episode, so it's not safe for you to be around me today. I don't know what I would do if I….I can't even bear to think about it. Anyway, I would greatly appreciate it if you stay here, for me if you're not concerned for your own life."

"I'm going, you won't hurt me, I know you won't, I believe in you."

"Sorry, but you believe wrong, this Peeta won't hurt you, but capitol Peeta might. I'll make Haymitch baby-sit you if you don't agree." he is very determined about this.

"Nope, lets go." he is not about to take this from me.

"Ok."

We walk to the bakery silently, he's obviously not pleased that he lost the argument. All well, I did, and he will be grateful for it later. We enter the bakery through what used to be Peeta's front porch. I can tell he's not totally sound in the head right now, so I kiss him to remind him that I'm here for him. He looks over at me, in what I expect to be those loving eyes that I dream about, but they're not. They've lost that sparkle of kindness and have been replaced with an unpleasant imitation of Peeta's eyes. This isn't my Peeta anymore, it's Snows.

"Why did you kill my family!?" He yells as he grabs me into his arms and elevates my body into the air, prepared to throw me. I'm petrified with fear by this point.

"Peeta, this isn't real, not real, not real, not real, not real! Peeta, I love you!" hearing those last three words sends him back to reality and he falls to his knees, still dropping me, but not the distance that he was prepared to, which I'm thankful for. The first thing to hit the ground is, considering my luck, its my head, and then the rest of my body follows." I try to sit up, but when I do, the world starts to spin and I see Peeta's face for a split second before I only see black.

**Peeta's POV **

Oh my god, what have I done? Katniss is lying on the ground, looking unconscious. Did I just have an episode? Am I the one who hurt her? I told her not to come with me today. I knew this would happen.

"Katniss, can you hear me? Capitol Peeta is gone, this is your Peeta talking. Oh honey I'm so sorry. I should never have gone in when you were with me." I'm consumed with guilt, but then I think, she still has a pulse, so hopefully she still can smell. I'll take her to Haymitch's and she will hopefully wake up to the smell of liquor. I scoop her up as gently as I can, and take her to Haymitch. She never moves the whole way, but I can still feel her breathing, so I'm not overly worried.

We get to Haymitch's house, I don't even knock. I just barge in.

"Kid, what's going on with the girl?" his voice is concerned.

"Get me a drink and I'll explain."

"Uh kid, do you really think now is the time for that?"

"Just do it Haymitch!" I yell with a force that is unlike myself. When Haymitch brings the drink I hold it up to her nose, and she opens her eyes. I breath a breath of relief and hold her to me.

"I'm so sorry. I will never do anything like that again. I promise, I promise, I promise. I love you so much. I will never do anything to hurt you, ever again." she seems confused, and I take it she has a concussion. She tries to sit up, and I stop her.

"No, just keep laying down, it will help. I'm going to go talk to Haymitch for a while."

"No. Don't, just stay here with me please." I have no idea why she would want to be with me, but still she wants it so I have no choice but to not argue.

"Ok. But I'm going to take you home now, so hold on to me. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't trust me anymore, but would you rather stay here than in the comfort of your own bed?"

"I still trust you." she replies as her eyes start to close.

"No, you can't sleep until there is someone to check your head injury out." I order her, I usually wouldn't be so mean, but she has to stay awake.

When we get home, I lay her on the couch and go to the phone. Now almost everyone in 12 has their own phone. I know just the person to call. Although I detest her son, I know that she's the only one that can help right now. I dial Hazelle's number and she picks up on the second ring. I explain to her about Katniss, and she says she will be right over.

About ten minutes later she comes through the door and I have to watch while she examines Katniss's head, does tests on her to see if she can hold focus, and finally gives her asprin and a herbal drink to make it so she can sleep. Hazelle starts to head out of the door and I go to tell her how sincerely grateful I am for her coming.

I finally go to Haymitch's once I see that she is all right. As soon as I enter, Haymitch yells at me.

"What the hell was wrong with her?"

"I did it." I say with all the quilt that I have been holding on to since it occurred.

"How? You love that girl more than life itself. What happened?"

"I had an episode. I lifted her up as high as I could get my arms to reach, prepared to throw her and she calmed me down. I came falling back to reality, literally. She didn't have time to get to her feet, and fell, her head was the first thing to hit the ground. She has a concussion, Hazelle told me. She gave her some medicine and now she is sleeping."

"Oh. Now that explains it. I'm sorry kid. I had no idea." his voice has gotten lower and its obvious that he is sorry for both of us. I decide that she is never going to the bakery with me again, and I will be sleeping in my house from now on. I can't believe I hurt her. I will never trust myself again. Tonight though, I have to sleep over there, to make sure she is ok through the night. I don't know what's to come of tomorrow, but I won't stay over there much longer after she wakes up. How do I expect her to even face me now that I've hurt her so badly? That is a question I will figure out tomorrow, because right now, I'm going to go sleep on the floor in her house so if she has a nightmare, I can be there for her.

**If you like it, have any ideas for the next chapter, or even have some constructive critism for me i appreciate them all =) **

**thanks for reading**


	4. Chapter 4

**The Hunger Games does not belong to me **

**Katniss POV**

I wake up on the couch, not suprising that Peeta didn't move me to my room. Where is he anyway?

"Peeta?" I call through the house, but theres no answer. I decide to walk over to his house.

"Peeta?" I call through his house this time. I get an immediate response.

"Katniss, what are you doing here, you should be resting your head." he told me calmly but with a firmness in his voice.

"It doesn't even really hurt anymore." Ok, so I lied to him, my head is throbbing, but one lie won't hurt him so I let it slide.

"You're lying. I know you Katniss, your head is killing you, and I'm about to carry you home and lay you down on the couch and you're not going to get up for the rest of the day so you give your head time to heal." Am I really that easy to read, or is he just an expert on me.

"You're right, I'm lying. Could you lay off though. This.." pointing at my head, "is not your fault, its Snows. So you can stop worrying. I will never ever stop loving you, no matter what you do to me. You have to understand that. Ok?" I almost yell at him. Instead of reciprocating my argument, he just kisses me. Then he picks me up and takes me over to my house. On the way there I'm totally shell-shocked because that was not what I was expecting at all, so I don't speak until he gently lays me on my bed.

"KAtniss, what the hell? Do you really have to argue with me every single second about everything? Stop pretending its not my fault for hurting you. Capitol Peeta lives inside me, and until you can accept that I can and will hurt you during an episode, we can't be around each other." this is the most angry I have ever seen him. "What if I don't just hurt you next time? What if I killed you? Do you know what my life would be after that?" his voice slowly dies down and I can tell he is picturing this and the guilt that he can do that is flooding to the surface.

"Shhhh, Peeta. It's ok, and it will continue to be. I know you, and I don't think you would ever kill me. Just to make it better for you, next time I will have Haymitch come over and help ok? You have got to understand though, even if something like this ever happened again, I would never leave or let you leave. I love you Peeta Mellark, and there's not a single thing that could change that fact." Finally, I got it off my chest and the realization of what I just said almost shocks him I think, I don't know why though. He has known I love him for a while, hasn't he? He just looks at me though, I don't know what kind of look it is, one of disbelief or one of returning love. I've found myself puzzled at this blue eyed boy before, so I really don't know why I'm surprised. Even though only like 20 seconds has passed, it feels like forever until he responds.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. Katniss, I love you too, more than you will ever know. Ever since that day when I threw you the bread, I knew there was something more powerful than the both of us, and we've both found it now." He has that smile that I dream of again and we kiss, with the all the passion either of us can manage to express at this moment. He is mine and I love him more than anything in this world. I'm so lucky to have this amazing man in my life. He loves me and I love him, this is more than I could ever ask for in a million years.

We make a mutual decision that it is wasteful to have two houses when we have more than enough room in one house for the both of us. The question is which house? This takes no time to decide, we will stay in mine. He knows I couldn't bear to leave here when there is so much of Prim here. He is all moved in by dinner. He decides to try to teach me to make bread, that plan wasn't at all successful. We did however get into a flour fight in which my face was completely covered by it, and so was his. I really have never been happier than when I'm with him, I can only hope he feels the same way.

**Peeta's POV**

I can't help but look into her grey eyes and fall for her even more. She is my world and no one, not even myself will take her away from me.

"I should bring you into the kitchen to help more often, you make it entertaining." I say with a laugh, she just looks at me with a smile like she's planning something. Before I know it she grabs a handful of flower and plops it on my head.

"I had no idea you look so good in flour." she tells me laughing.

"Well, I've had no one cover my face in it before."

"That's too bad." Then she leans in and kisses me, I put my hands around her waist and she kisses me even more. We break away to get air and Haymitch walks in.

"Makeup did we?" he says with a laugh "Hey sweetheart, hows your head?" obviously directing the question towards her.

"It hurt a little earlier, but now I'm ok." she smiles that glorious smile she thinks she doesn't have.

"Anything to do with lover boy over here?"

"Hello? I'm right here guys." I say

"Yes it has everything to do with him." with a quick grin before pulling me into a quick kiss

"Will you guys wait until I leave?"

"Can you make it quick?" I laugh at him

"Seriously?" he replies "Kid, I hate to pull you away, but I really need to talk to you."

"Why?" Katniss asks with an uneasiness about her face

"Just let me talk to lover boy, sweetheart."

"I'll be right out, just give me a minute." I tell him calmly then turn back to Katniss. Her face still looks worried.

"Why does he need to talk to you now?"

"I don't know yet, but as soon as I do I will fill you in." I tell her with a reassuring voice. I wipe some flour off her face and I tell her she should go take a shower and I will clean up the kitchen. She agrees, but I sincerely hope she does what I asked her, because I have no idea what this is about.

I walk out to the porch, and I see Haymitch smirking as I walk out cleaning flour off my face.

"We need to talk about your episodes kid."

"Ok, what are your questions?"

"Is she in danger because of them?"

"I don't think anymore as long as I'm aware of my triggers and risky situations like the bakery."

"Ok. How often do these happen?"

"They are unpredictable."

"Does she know this?"

"Yes, she does."

"Are you guys living together? I saw you bringing stuff from your house over here."

"Yes. We are living together."

"Do you have your own room to sleep in?" he almost growls at me

"No" I say quietly

"I'm going to ignore that statement. Seriously, your episodes though?" He tells me calmly. I think this is suprising I have to admit.

"Anyway, the episodes are getting less frequent, and I have tried to convince her that she is unsafe with me here, but we know how stubborn she is."

"Yes, I do. I mostly admire her for that, but not when her safety is on the line."

"Haymitch, do you really think that I would kill her?"

"I think that during an episode you could get close to it, but never actually succeed."

"Really?"

"Yes kid, I have mentored you both for two and a half years, you love that girl. Contrary to what Snow made you believe, you love that girl, even when you are sucked into that pit of hate and misery. If you were about to do anything that drastic, you would snap out of it."

"I believe you on some levels."

" Well get to the point where you can believe me on all levels. Now I'm going to go home and leave you guys to your dinner."

"Haymitch." he turns around "Thank you for caring about us."

"No problem kid."

He walks away and I realize just how nice that conversation that was. Especially coming from Haymitch. He believes he is incapable of feeling emotion because of what the Games did to him, he is deeply mistaken. The Games may have had some affect on his ability to feel emotions easily, but not completely.

**Katniss POV**

This is one of the only dinners we have had alone before. After our declarations to each other today, I have no idea what's about to happen nor what I should wear. I open my closet and find all the dazzling clothes that Cinna made for me. _Cinna._ I close my eyes and see him, explaining to me about the fire clothes and I catch a glimpse of his gold eyeliner. Then I come crashing back to reality and I'm on my knees just crying because I know Cinna's death was my fault. I look around to see if Peeta came up here, he didn't. Good. I don't want himself to see me like this tonight. I wipe my tears and I stand up almost wobbling. I can't deal with this right now. This is mine and Peeta's night to celebrate moving in together. I decide on a summer dress, orange because that's Peeta's favorite color it has different shades of orange, red, and yellow. I know he will love it. I put the dress on, quickly brush my hair, and head downstairs. There I see the man I love by the table. I'm alarmed at how gorgeous the table looks. Table set, candles lit, and my most important person in the world standing behind a chair just waiting. His face looks absolutely taken aback by the sight of me. All he says is

"Wow." I can tell my cheeks are turning very red at this moment, but somehow I don't care. He meets me at the bottom of the stairs kissing me on the cheek and then escorting me to the table, where he pulls the chair out for me and then scoots it back in. Then he goes to sit down himself and we eat almost in silence, not awkwardly, just out of pure need to savor the moment. When we are done, I do the dishes while he finishes cleaning up the kitchen. Every couple of minutes he comes up behind me to kiss my neck though. When we get done with cleanup, we go to the backyard, and there again I find a surprise. As I walk out, I see gold lanterns hanging from clothes lines and in the middle of the yard, I find a gold blanket placed at the exactly right spot to look at the stars without obstacles in our way. He looks over at me to see if I'm enjoying his surprise and I happen to be almost crying from the pure bliss. When he sees the tears, he quickly wipes them off.

"Why are you crying?" his voice is full of concern

"Just this, you, all the effort you put into this. It looks amazing, thank you for all of this." With that I pull him into a kiss that I'm guessing he was not expecting. He responds by putting his hands gently on my waist and pulling me in closer, if that's even possible. When we break off for air, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel wanted, and not scarred. When I look into his eyes, my head goes spinning, but not from my concussion. How did I ever end up with this handsome caring man? I start to lose my balance and as if he can read my mind, he puts an arm on my waist and catches me. Then we head over to the blanket where we lay down and just blissfully look at the stars as if there is no tomorrow. Again, as if he can read my mind, he turns to his side and starts to kiss me softly. Then as if its our first time doing this, he opens his mouth and lets me decide whether I want that. I took the offer graciously, then when he decided to break away, he didn't for all but a second. No, he started kissing my neck, then my shoulder. I think he could tell that I wasn't ready for it all, so he went back to kissing my mouth. When he broke away the second time, we decided to go into the house, since we have neighbors and even though we aren't doing anything totally inappropriate, they probably don't want to see us making out. We get inside head to the couch and just pick up where we left off. This time though, I am the one to initiate more. I start kissing his neck and I take off his shirt. He leans down on top of me and starts kissing me again, he never does anything that I haven't indicated I was ready for. While he is on top of me and we are just making out, I decide as much as I want this to happen, I don't think it should happen tonight. Although every aspect of tonight was perfect, I suddenly realize that I'm not stable enough within my mind to take this huge step in my life. So I start to pull away, and Peeta looks at me. For a second, he looks confused and then understands. Instead, we talk for hours on end and when I'm about to fall asleep he carries me upstairs to our room. I will have to get used to that. _Our Room_, despite him declaring his love for me so long ago, I never would have thought that we would be sharing a room, or a house at this moment. When we get through the door, he gently lays me down on the bed and climbs over into bed himself. While putting his arms around me, he quietly whispers

"I love you." Then we glide blissfully into sleep.

**You guys are amazing for reading. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. I should be able to update it within 2 days. Please keep reading. If you leave a review, I will reply to it as soon as I can, I really want to know what you guys think, positive, or constructive critism =) You guys rock.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I edited some things in ch 4, so if you didn't just read it, you might want to go back and read it again. Thank you all for reading, i'm sorry i didnt update sooner**

**I don't own the Hunger Games**

**Peeta's POV**

I awaken to the realization that the person I had in my arms last night isn't there anymore. I roll over to her side, it's still warm, so she must have gotten up not to long ago. I make the decision to get up and go see if she's still home. I walk into the bathroom that shares our room, and I see her. Just getting out of the shower. Only a towel on. The sight makes my heart leap. She just stares at me though.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Do I look that bad?" she asks with a laugh. Oh, I should probably wipe that stupid grin of my face.

"Of course not, you look amazing, and all mine." I say heading over to her and taking her into a deep kiss.

"Well aren't you reassured?" Wow. I say she looks amazing and she laughs at me. This is one of the many reasons I love this girl, she has spirit. I see it every time she laughs or gets mad.

"Yes I am." I announce before pulling her into another kiss.

"Ok, well lets get ready and head over to the bakery." She says like that is actually going to happen. Look what I did to her before, and she wants to go back?

"I know what your thinking Peeta Mellark, and there is not a chance in hell that you are going to stop me. I am a big girl, and can take care of myself. If you do anything, I will run, I promise." She says and then kisses me. This girl certainly knows how to make someone agree. With that she goes into the bathroom and changes.

"Are we going or not?"

"Yes, just wait a minute." I go and get ready and then we leave. I really hope she stays good to her promise. Then again, I really hope I don't have to make her. The whole way there she is holding my hand as a reassurance that she believes in me. We pass by all the places that live in our nightmares. The places that I know it's hard for her to look at like the remains of her old house and the state building, where Madge lived. She is the one that gave Katniss the pin which named her.

We eventually pass through all the ruins and get to what used to be my family's bakery. Even new and remodeled, I can still hear my mom yelling at me, saying that I didn't do something right. No. I have to push those thoughts aside for right now, I can't face them when she is with me. I don't even know that I can face them at all. I let go of her hand as if telling her that I need to do this by myself, and stepped in the cold building. Strangely, there is nothing immediate that will make me have a flashback. Nothings shiny either. This place doesn't exactly hold good memories, but not the worst memories I've ever had took place here either. I look around and I see what used to be, not what Snow wants me to see. I turn around and motion for her to come in, and she does. I put my arm around her shoulder and I know that with her here, I will have the restraint to not have a episode like the other while she is around. I hope I won't forget this moment because now I know. I thought I knew before, but it wasn't with the finality that I do now. She is the one who keeps me sane.

**Katniss POV**

He did it. He stepped through those steps and faced his childhood agony combined with what Snow wanted him to see. I'm so proud of him. My sandy haired, blue-eyed man has done the impossible by taking the couple of steps inside this building. I pull him into a long meaningful kiss to signify the importance of this moment. I can't imagine this getting any better.

"Are you ok?" I ask him

"Surprisingly, yes." He flashes that amazing smile at me while he says this. We go into the back to get the kitchen set up for tomorrow. Since people keep flooding back to 12, they need a food source. When he is working tomorrow, I think I'm going to go hunt. That would be nice, go to the spot where Gale and I used to spend our Sundays. _Gale_. It's been so long since I've thought about him. Maybe because it hurts so bad to. The image associated with his name now is Prim dying. That won't go away. I know it was his bomb and that's never going to change. I just can't help but think, what if he wasn't responsible? Where would we be now? Would I still be with Peeta? The last question generates an immediate answer _Yes, I love Peeta with all my heart_. Gale was always just my friend, even when he wanted to be more than that. When he kissed me, it felt totally different from when Peeta kissed me back then. It felt more like kissing a brother than a boyfriend/ husband. I stop myself from thinking when I realize that there are tears running down my face and Peeta is trying to talk to me. I came here to comfort him and instead he's comforting me. I don't know how I ended up so lucky in this world that I end up to be with this amazing guy wrapping his arms around me in a warm embrace that makes everything I just thought about go right back to where it was before. In the back of my head.

After my little meltdown, we stayed at the bakery for about 2 hours. We made dough so it could be baked in the morning, we made some frosting to go in the refrigerator, and we cleaned up the kitchen. A lot of work goes into running a business, I am finding out. As we walk home we hold each others hand the whole way there. When we get home I find that the kitchen light is on, we walk in to find Greasy Sae and her granddaughter cooking. Just like they did before Peeta got home. I'm surprised, but happy to see them. If we are all here we might as well get Haymitch. I run over to get him, and his stupid geese are starting to peck at each other. All I can think about is _poor Haymitch_. I think he got a little more than he bargained for with them. All well, I open the door and enter the repulsive place he calls home and start to look for him. He's on the couch passed out, big shocker. I decide to leave him be just because I don't want to get hit when he wakes up. So, I decide to head back to my house and enjoy the dinner that Sae made.

After dinner, Sae and her granddaughter leave so Peeta and I can do the dishes. In truth, I do most of the washing while he tries to distract me by kissing my neck. I almost drop a dish due to this, so I turn around and hand him the dish towel so he can dry them. When we finish doing dishes, he goes into the study and starts to paint. I sit on the couch in there and just watch him. Watching him is so amazing, he is so careful and pristine with every wave of his brush. Before I know it, he's done. He turns the canvas around and suddenly I'm starring at a yellow primrose. I smile widely at this and he smiles back.

"Peeta, it's beautiful."

"Thank you, I was thinking I could put it on the wall in the living room if you were ok with it."

"Yes, of course. This makes me remember her in a more peaceful way then what I usually see when I think of her. The rose is a great way to remember her by." By now we are beyond tired, and Peeta has to get up early in the morning tomorrow. As we are walking up to bed, I think how perfect today was. With nothing spectacular about it, it was perfect. I open my dresser, quickly grab a tank top and shorts, and go to the bathroom to change into them. When I get back out, he is already in bed waiting for me. Instead of falling right back to sleep, we stay awake talking. I am the first to close my eyes. Before I'm engulfed in the warm embrace of sleep, I feel his arms wrap tight against me. I know I'm safe and loved.

**Reviews? =)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So, so sorry for not updating. I got a huge writers block for like a week, and then my computer broke so I've been on my kindle for like two weeks.. Anyway...Enjoy this next chapter. **

**Chapter 6**

Katniss POV

The next few months Peeta and I fall into a consistent routine. He bakes, and I hunt. When we get home we eat dinner and then he paints while I watch him. I feel content knowing that he is right there for me when I have my nightmares. His episodes are still there, but getting less frequent all the time. Now, we have got them to where I can calm him down by just telling him its not real and that this me is. Of course, I don't think that they will ever fully go away, but they are manageable this way. We may be far from the perfect couple, but I have figured out that I am at least happy.

I really can't believe that for the first time in my life, I just cannot seem to stop smiling. I don't know if its Peeta's painting, my reduced nightmares, or my amazing days in the meadow. I really don't know but, I think I should probably just enjoy it. I'm almost to the gate of Victors Village when I remember that I don't have any game with me, so I can go visit him at the bakery if I want. Even though it hasn't even been a full day, I find myself missing him. The way his blue eyes sparkle, his smile that can bring me up even when I'm at the bottom of my depressed mood, and everything about him in general.

As soon as I'm about to walk up the steps to the bakery, I see through the window a woman with long wavy blonde hair talking to Peeta standing in such a way that obviously sticks her chest out at Peeta. My Peeta, she is flirting with my Peeta. It's taking all the self control I have not to just march in there and drag her out by her hair. Instead, I decide to walk in there calmly and slip behind the counter that Peeta doesn't know what hit him when I pull him into a long kiss.

"Katniss? What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" Although he is smiling, his face is full of concern at this.

"Yes, I'm ok, but nothings wrong. I just wanted to surprise you. I hope that's not a problem?" I say smiling when I hear a throat clearing and we both look over at little miss never heard of the star crossed lovers of district 12.

"Oh Katniss, I'm so sorry. This is Sarah. Sarah, this is Katniss." I can tell despite his sweet tone, he is very much embarrassed.

"Oh, well I'm going to leave you two alone. Bye." That last part she says only to Peeta. She is so lucky I don't go and wipe that fake smile off her face. I mean seriously? I come in and kiss the guy and she oooooooh... I know that it was only a publicity stunt back then, but we were engaged and we lost a baby in the public eye anyway. You would think that someone would back off after that. I look over at Peeta and I must be scowling because Peeta just sees my expression and starts full on laughing. He pulls me towards him and kisses me. When we break off he sees my face and asks me

"Katniss, are you...jealous?"

"No, why would you think such a thing? Jealousy isn't not my thing." I must not sound very convincing because he just starts laughing again. Damn it, he always sees straight through me.

"You are by far, the worst liar in the world, did you know that?" he says ever so sweetly before pulling me into another kiss. Then resuming his speech "At least when trying to lie to me." This even makes me smile. I think in that precise moment I realize just how much I rely on him, and I feel absolutely positively terrified. _What if he leaves me? What if he finds someone who isn't broken, who wants a family, and someone who can give him back all the love that they receive. _I love him so much, but maybe after seeing just how broken I always am, he will get tired of me. As he leans in to kiss me once again, I back away and run out the door. As soon as I get out of the door it starts to rain. Perfect.

"Katniss? What? Where are you going?" I can hear him start to run after me, but I'm faster. In the distance I can still hear him calling my name but I don't care. I just keep running until I reach the fence. Then I sit down in utter exhaustion and take a breath. I can just feel the exhaustion starting to take over me when my eyes start to close.

I wake up in the middle of the night screaming. For a while I don't know where I am, then I remember the events at the bakery. How could I have been so stupid? Why did I act like that? Oh my god, I just realized that its still raining and it's freezing out here. I have to get back home. I hope Peeta didn't worry too much. So I start to stand up, and before I know it I'm starting to race back to the house.

When I get past the entrance of the victors village I see that the lights of my house are on. I start racing towards the house and I quickly open the door and then I plop down on the couch, not even acknowledging the fact that Peeta is sitting in the chair by the couch just looking at me.

**Peeta's POV**

When she enters that door she nearly scares me to death. Her hair is soaking wet, she's shivering, and she's been out all night in the rain. As happy as I am that she is home safe, I'm overwhelmed by the amount of anger that arises from seeing her disregard for her own health.

"What the hell was that Katniss?"

"What?" she is looking at me sort of shell shocked that I yelled at her. I do feel bad about raising my voice, but not for telling her what she needed to hear.

"What do you mean what? You stay out half the night in the rain, worry me to death and come back like you didn't do anything? How am I supposed to deal with that, just tell me how." She is just looking at me with absent tear filled eyes. I feel so bad for yelling at her. "Honey?" She doesn't respond so I continue. "Katniss, I need you to say something, ok. I need to know that you are ok. Please Katniss, say something. I'm begging you. Please." But, no she doesn't respond she just keeps staring at me absently. O scoop her up and put her in our bed, she doesn't put up a fight at all. I know something is up now. I decide that I have caused enough damage for one night, so I go sleep in my old house for the night. It's only next door, I'll be there if something goes wrong. I don't sleep that night at all. I just can't seem to get the words _It's all your fault. It's all your fault that she is like this. _Echoing in my head all night.

When I wake up I head straight over there taking a plate of cheese buns with me. She is still in that exact spot I left her in on the bed. I set the cheese buns on the night stand and beg her to eat. After an hour with no luck, I just hold her close to me and rock her repeating three words over and over.

"I'm so sorry." I do that for most of the day and eventually I start to give up. Not on her, but on myself. I have to talk to someone about this. I can only think of one person right now and he is right next door.

"Haymitch! Answer the damn door!"

"What kid?"he seems slightly annoyed, but I don't care

"It's Katniss."

"What happened?"

"Yesterday we were having a perfectly nice time and then she ran off in the rain, stayed out half the night, and came back soaking wet and shivering. My anger got the best of me and I yelled at her. Then she just...shut down. She won't speak, she won't eat or drink, and she won't even look at me with any emotion she is just there. I really don't know what to do. Please help me get her back Haymitch." I don't even care that I've started to cry.

"Well kid, I don't really know what to say. You know how her mother got after slipping into that depression and she never fully came out. Although, we know that Katniss is a lot stronger, we need something to pull her out. Or we wait until she pulls herself out."

"What if I leave? I don't want to, but anything to help her."

"I don't know, I'd give it a few days to figure it out first. I will come over for breakfast tomorrow morning and see how things are going for myself. Ok?"I nod and then he retreats into his house again. I feel oddly better knowing that someone else is helping. Tonight I decide to try to get her to eat something again, she won't. Instead of going back to the other house tonight I sleep here tonight. I think about slipping into the same bed as she is but decide against it. She just keeps looking at me and I continue to beg her to speek and she honestly looks like she wants to but just...can't.

**Katniss POV **

Why? That is all I can ask myself all today and last night. Why did Prim have to die? Why is the rebellion I struck responsible for it? Why wasn't I able to protect her? Why do I keep continually hurting Peeta? I really don't know the answer to any of these questions, but I do know something. I have to try to fight this depression that is threatening to take me whole. I have to get better. I have to stay strong for Peeta, I just have to. I can't and I won't give up. I saw Peeta's face all day and I know that I am hurting him so badly by doing this. I want to apologize for this so badly but every time I want to say something, the words get caught in my throat and I can't. I wish he would wrap his arms around me and make all the nightmares go away, but I can't ask that of him. I wonder where he is now. I try to get out of my bed and every limb I have feels like a thousand pounds. Regardless I still do, I look around upstairs until I see him in my mom's old room, just sitting on the bed looking like I know he feels. I step closer so he sees me. When I come into his view he almost smiles. I just go over to him and have my arms stretched open wide. He immediately gets up and comes to hold me. I just hold onto him and sob. At last, I mutter my first words all day.

"I'm so sorry Peeta." He immediately looks down at me.

"It's ok. Just please don't scare me like that again."

"I promise. Stay with me?"

"Always." We steadily walk back to my room and we eventually fall asleep, with his arms wrapped around me. I don't know where tomorrow is going to take us, but as long as I have these arms wrapped around me, I know that I'm going to be ok.

**I know I took a little bit of a risk with this one, but I hope you liked it. Things are going to get a whole lot happier soon, but we all have to go through the hard times to strengthen our relationships. Thanks for reading and ch 7 shouldnt take as long as this one did. Reviews are welcomed =)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hope you enjoy this one =) Happy Reading**

**All rights go to Suzzane Collins, i own nothing **

**Chapter 7 **

**Katniss POV **

When I wake up the next morning I expect to find the other side of the bed cold but it's not. Peets is still here. He didn't leave me. This adds a sense of relief to my mood. He looks so peaceful. His sandy blonde hair is falling on his face in such a way that you can still see his eyelids and I envision the sea behind them. That deep blue fading away into a lighter one as you keep going. Just one of the many things I love about him. He starts moving a little bit and I naturally close my eyes and pretend I'm still asleep. Then I feel his arms pull me closer to him and he wispers.

"I already told you that you were a bad liar. Didn't I?" I keep silent. "Katniss, I know your awake." He continues to pull me closer and I open my eyes. Then I sit up a little and kiss him, in the way that our other kisses have started out innocent and gradually deepened, this one is nothing like it. I know what I want this time, and I can feel the hunger stirring deep inside of me as we break off. This time however he closes the gap between us. When we break off from that kiss he gets up off the bed.

"Come on, its time to get up." He says as he is pulling me off the bed. I really don't want to be awake yet, but I can't risk falling into the darkness again so I don't protest. "Haymitch is coming for breakfast." Seriously, wow I can't even have a day alone with Peeta to recover. Instead I get to be around a drunk all morning, lovely. I give Peeta a long hug and then whisper in his ear.

"Thankyou." I then shoot a smile at him

"For what?"

"Just being you." With all thats been going on, I only stopped to think about how this might be affecting Peeta once. "I love you." I can just feel it, with those three simple words I have just sealed my fate forever.

"I love you too." He is smiling like there is no tomorrow and he pulls me back into his arms and gives me a quick peck on the cheek before going to take his shower. While he is in there I try to decide on what to wear. I think I will wear this yellow sun dress and for a change I might just wear my hair down.

When i walk down the steps the scent of fresh cheese buns is in the air. I breath the smell in and walk into the kitchen where I sneak up on Peeta. He turns around and kisses me.  
"It smells amazing Peeta." I tell him with a smile on my face that he gladly returns.  
"I thought you would like it. Haymitch should be here soon." Just then Haymitch walks through the door and I go to greet him  
"Hey sweetheart. You ok?" I wonder why he looks so suprised to see me, then after a second I know Peeta told him.  
"Ya, I think I'm doing a lot better. Thanks for asking." We continue to talk about all this and unexpectally, I think Haymitch is actually helping me. Peeta finishes breakfast and calls us to the table. After breakfast Haymitch announces that he is leaving, while Peeta and I clean up. We do the dishes, well I do the dishes while Peeta tries to distract me by kissing my neck. When I'm done with the dishes I decide that I want to take him to the meadow.

"Peeta?" He looks at me like something is wrong, so I put a smile on my face and I see his perfect smile looking at me."I was wondering whether you would like to see the meadow today?" I didn't think it was possible, but his smile grows. "I'm going to take that as a yes then." We take a few minutes to get a couple things such as a blanket, Peeta's sketch pad, and a pillow.  
"Are you ready?" He still has his amazing smile plastered on his face. I just smile and nod. With that we walk hand in hand towards the woods. I can't help but think to myself 'I am so lucky.' over and over until we reach the meadow.

When we get there I spread the blanket out and we both sit. We talk about numerous things, from the shape of the clouds to Annie and her son Mark. Never letting our thoughts drift to the past or the ones lost in the war or games. After what I'm assuming is hours, Peeta starts sketching and I lay down and take a nap.

Before I know it, I'm being shaked awake by Peeta.  
"Hey, it's time to go. It's nearly sunset." I spring up and fold the blanket before once again we walk hand in hand. The same words echoing as before in my mind. Most of the walk is silent, just savoring our time together. I wish it could just be like this forever, that I could freeze it and live in it forever. Great, I'm sounding like him now. Everytime he looks over at me, my heart flutters and I know that I love him. That fact couldn't change for the world. Why else would I have pulled out those berries, tried to save him in the Quell, and nearly fell into darkness when I was rescued and he wasn't. I didn't realize what I had until it could've been taken away, and I'm determined to make sure it never gets taken away now. If he says that I am his entire world, he has no idea what he means to me, because he's my everything. I wouldn't be alive without him, I would have ate the nightlock pill and been done with this world if he wasn't in it.

We make it home and before I know it, it's time for bed. As usual I put my head on his chest and he wraps his arms around me. Before I float peacefully to sleep, I hear

"I love you, forever and ever." coming out of Peeta's mouth

"I love you to, far longer than forever though." I respond.

**Reviews? I hope you enjoyed this chapter. next should be up soon =)**


	8. Chapter 8

**I would like to thank my consistant reviewer Ms.K216, your reviews always mean so much to me. You're the best! Happy Reading everyone.**

**All rights go to Suzanne Collins, I own nothing. **

**Chapter 8 **

**Katniss POV**

When I wake up I notice that Peeta isn't in bed anymore. Before I start to panic I remember that he had to go into the bakery today and he always leaves about 5 am. I look over at the clock and it is 9. I smile at myself knowing the reason for my increasing amound of sleep. 'I have those strong arms warding of my nightmares.' I decide to get up and greet the day with a smile on my face. I quickly go shower and get dresses. Then I braid my hair as usual and I walk downstairs certain that there are going to be cheese buns on the table. I sat at the table and ate it and I heard a knock at the door. I wonder who it could be, Haymitch never has the decency to knock and it's Peeta's house. I make my way to the door and when I open it I was in no way prepared to deal with what greeted me.

"Hey Catnip." I can't believe Gale Hawthorne is standing right in front of me. I haven't see or heard from him since we were in the capitol. _Prim._ No, I can't afford to think about that right now.

"Hi Gale, what are you doing here?" That probably sounded a lot ruder than I had meant for it to be, but I really don't know why after 9 months, he is showing up now.

"Look I don't blame you if you aren't happy to see me. I shouldn't have left you to deal with all of this by yourself. It wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry." I'm literally in awe at the moment, but he continues. "I needed to see you, to know that you were ok. I hadn't heard from you for so long or even heard about you. I need to know that I didn't destroy you." His face is full of sorrow and guilt, but I really don't know why. He didn't do anything, I don't think anyway.

"Why do you think you destroyed me. Noone destroyed me but the only two people that came even close were Snow and Coin. Gale, what don't I know?" I look at him and his face shows more guilt than I ever thought was possible.

"You really don't know?"

"No, I have absolutely no clue what you are talking about."

"Katniss, it's my fault that Prim is dead. The bombs were my design." I can feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes.

**Gale POV **

Those were probably the hardest words I've had to say in my entire life. To watch her face drop and the tears start to come, it hurts to know that I've inflicted that pain. I just turn my eyes to the ground in shame

"Gale?" I can't believe she is still talking to me, even though she knows what I did. I still look at her though, despite how much pain it brings. "Gale, look at my eyes." I do what she asks. "You are in no way responsible for my little sister's death, ok? You may have designed the bombs, but you didn't order them to drop on the children. That was Coin. Remember? So I don't want you to ever think that it was your doing again, ok?" She is trying to hide the pain of talking about Prim from me, but I see straight through it. After all, I've known her forever. I just go up and give her the hug that I know we both needed. I don't need or want anymore than this from her, a friend.

"Gale? Would you like to come inside?" I just nod and give her a weak smile. Once we are inside she makes us some tea and we sit down and I realize there is something I really need to tell her.

"Catnip?"

"Yea?"

"I think he's for you." She about chokes on her tea.

"What?"

"Mellark. He is the one for you and I know that now. Really, it was never a choice between us. It was just me wanting you to make one that noone ever should have to. I've seen the way you two look at each other. That right there is love. Love that can't be broken by anyone. Not Snow, not Coin, and certainly not me. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that."

"Thankyou, I do love him, with all of my heart. I really appreciate you coming her Gale. Do you think we can still be friends. I know all that the way did to us, and I really do miss you." I just shake my head at her.

"Do you really think after coming here to see you, that I didn't want to be friends again?" She smiles and I realize she's smiling a lot more lately. Good, she deserves it. Then I leave. I guess I should go talk to Mellark now. Make sure he keeps up keeping her this happy.

As I walk into the bakery I see him. Holding a ring box. He catchs sight of me and quickly puts the ring away.

"Hi Gale." Jeez, you would think I'm evil from the look in his eyes.

"Look, I'm not here for anything bad. I already talked to Katniss and told her I want you two to be together. If you tell me you are going to propose to her, I wouldn't tell her but I wouldn't get angry either. So are you going to?"

"Yes. I plan to ask her tonight."

"So what's your plan?"

"Well, I sort of need help for my dream idea to ask her."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Well…." He tells me and there really couldn't be anything more romantic out there, and more perfectly suited to them.

"Count me in."

**Sorry to leave you guys on a sort of cliffy. I promise you though, if I can, the next chapter will be updated ver very soon. Stay amazing. Oh! And review! Tell me what you think of this chapter, what you want the proposal to be like, or just whatever you want to say.(Reviews make me write faster =)) Thanks -alwaysremember01**


	9. Chapter 9

**All rights go to Suzanne Collins, I own nothing. **

**Chapter 9**

**Peeta POV**

After we finish setting up, Gale and I share a few words of thanks. He thanks me for taking care of her, and I thank him for all his help. After that he leaves, I still have a few hours until what I'm planning takes place. I decide to go get the bakery ready for tomorrow, because then I don't have to leave home at 5. As I'm kneading the dough, a familiar face walks in.  
"Hi, Sarah. What can I do for you today?"  
"Just a loaf of bread please." I do what she asks but she doesn't leave. Before I know it, her lips are on mine. Just as I'm about to push her off, I see Katniss in the window, meeting my eyes with hers. Then I see her run away, I push Sarah off and I go after her. It's hard to believe that all of this happened in about a second.

**Katniss POV  
**

I can't believe this. What the hell was he thinking? When I hear footsteps behind me, I just run faster. I eventually stop at my old house trying to regain my breath. I don't understand how this happened, I thought we were fine. Obviously not. When I my mind wanders out of those thoughts at last, I realize that the tears have long since started to flow, and that I don't even know how long I've been here. Must not be that long, other wise Peeta would have found me by now. I'm pretty predictable on where I would be. Strangly, just after that thought occurs to me, I see him. I'm happy to see him, and that he didn't wander into the woods to find me, but I'm also overcome with rage that he was more or less cheating on me. I thought we had become an unspoken official couple, but clearly I thought wrong.

"What the hell Peeta?"

"Kat, just let me explain."

"Explain what? The fact that you kissed her? The fact that she kissed you? Besides you deserve her, she isn't scarred or broken. Not like me, you deserve to be happy. I want you to be, and if it's not with me, than I can live with that." Before I can go on, he interupts me.

"Katniss, shut up." I start to protest but he goes on. "There is no one in this entire world that I could be happy with, except for you. How could you ever think I didn't want you? Katniss, you are all I want, forever. I couldn't change that if I tried. The capitol tried to make me not love you, they didn't succeed. Coin wanted me to kill you when we visited the Capitol, and she didn't succeed either. The sooner that you know I'm not going anywhere, the better." Before I can even say a word, his lips are touching mine. When we break off, he just looks at me and smiles. "I want to show you something." Then we walk hand in hand, I wander what he wants to show me. We are walking towards the forest when I see it.

"Peeta, this is amazing." When he looks at me I can't help but get swept up in the crystal blue ocean that everyone else calls eyes. I however call them, my world.

**I know, this ones short, but I hope you liked it. Next chapter should be up relativly soon. Have a great thanksgiving everyone, and don't forget R&R. Thanks for reading ) -alwaysremember01**


	10. Chapter 10

Okay, so first of all I would like to say how completely sorry I am for not updating. Computers broken, my step-dad wont let me use his, and plain out laziness to do it on my kindle. So, enough excuses on my part, lets get to the chapter =)

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

Chapter 10

What I see is completely amazing. He has brought me to my lake, how did he even find out about this place anyway? To that question I have no answer, but I'm mesmorized by the landscape around me. I hadn't realized how long its been since I've been out here. The lake is overcome with lily pads, the ground covered in flowers and plants. In the midst of all this, I see a blanket lying on the ground with a picnic basket on top of it. Out of all of this though, there is one thing that catchs my eye. Several dandelions cover the surrounding area and I'm overwhelmed with a sense of something I haven't felt in so long, actual genuine hope. Hope that things can still get better, hope that Peeta will never leave me, and hope that one day, I might be at least partially mentally stable. I interrupt my thoughts to look over at Peeta who is just staring back at me smiling. He then leads us over to the blanket and we sit down. He digs into the basket and pulls out two cheese buns and hands me one. We eat in silence for a couple minutes before he speaks.

"Katniss, I have been in love with you since I was five years old. For 11 years it was love from afar, but then we were sent into the first games without a clue who we even were yet, sent to fight for our lives. My wildest dreams and my worst nightmare came true the day of that reaping, I got to talk to you, but I also knew that I would have to watch you go through that. My chances with you were shot with two words, but you proved that wrong with the berries. Then again when we faced death, I knew you had to go home and I wouldn't.. Fate seems to like playing tricks on us, and we know what happened then. My point is though, even being so screwed up by the capitol, when you were about to take that pill, something sprung to life in me telling myself that I couln't live without you. Katniss Everdeen, I love you and it has been my dream forever to marry you, to spend the rest of my days with you, to hold you, protect you, and love you, until the end of time." Then he gets on one knee and says the words that make the world around me ciese to exist and its only the two of us here and he pulls what looks to be my pearl, but it's connected with a silver band."Katniss, will you marry me?" I don't even have to think about the answer, its just instinctive when I nod my head. With that he slips the ring onto my finger then he stands up, brushes the hair out of my face and kisses me, again it's just us here. Not a thing in the world matters except for the two of us. When we break apart we notice that its starting to get dark and we need to go home.

We made the long walk home hand in hand and when we get inside the house. We are both cold so I ask Peeta if he can make a fire and I will be down in a second after going to get more comfortable clothes on. That I do and when I get downstairs the fire is started and he is on the couch. When he sees me, he holds his arms out and I don't hesitate to walk over in his warm embrace. I lay my head down in his lap while he runs his fingers through my hair while I start to dose of into a restful sleep. He leans his head down and kisses my forehead saying three simple words that carry the world

"I love you.." That is the last thing I hear before falling into a deep sleep.

Peeta POV

I'm in a state of true happiness as I watch her sleep right here. As I yawn I realize that I do need to sleep so I gently get up without disturbing her and then put her arm around my neck before gently scooping her up bridal style and carrying her to our bedroom. After lying her down on the bed, I climb in next to her and wrap my arms around her waist before I too, fall into a deep sleep.

When I wake up I see that Katniss is still sleeping I decide to just lay there for fear that I might disturb her. After a while of doing this Katniss turns over and yawns before opening her eyes. When she is finished rubbing the sleep out of her eyes I lean my head down and peck her lips. When I look down at her after she is smiling at me. Then I hop out of bed.

"Come on, it time to get up." I say while grabing her hands and helping her to her feet. After giving her another quick kiss I say "I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes."

When I get downstairs I get ingredients out to make french toast. A while later i hear her footsteps coming down the stairs. I smile and look her way, then she comes over and gives me a quick kiss. Then she leaves me to finish making breakfast.

As we are eating our breakfast, there is a break in the silence. "I was wondering whether I should call my mom or not."

"That's up to you, you know that I'm okay with whatever you decide to do. I do think this would be a good chance for you two to patch things up. Who else do you want to tell immediately?" I tell her calmly.

"I don't know yet. What do you want to do for the wedding anyway?" She asks.

"Again, I think whatever you choose would be amazing. Just as long as we do a toasting and i get to marry the girl of my dreams, I'm happy." Honestly all I want is for her to be happy and comfortable with all of it.

"You know I'm not good at these things. I'm thinking about just calling Effie and letting her plan the whole thing."

"You, Katniss Everdeen, are thinking of letting Effie Trinket plan our wedding?"

"Not make all the decisions of course, but I'm awful at these sort of things. So what do you think of the idea?"

"I think it's a good idea. If you're sure you can put up with them."

"Yes, i won't kill any of them I promise."

**so what did you all think? I'm not completely happy with it but...**

**Please review, i love seeing what you all have to say. **


	11. Chapter 11

** May I expresss my deepest apoligies for not updating, I really don't have an excuse exept for life happening and I would like to thank everyone who reviewed.**

**You guys are amazing for reading, so i'll leave u to it =)**

* * *

Katniss POV

After breakfast Peeta leaves to go check in with his employees at the bakery, leaving me to call my mother. After much debating with myself, I finally pick up the phone and dial the number she left me to reach her at in district four. I'm growing more and more nervous with each ring.

"Hello?"

"Mom?"

"Katniss? Is that you? I haven't heard from you in so long is everything ok?"

"Ya it's me. Nothings wrong though, in fact everything is going completely right. I'm getting married."

"Oh, darling thats amazing. I'm so happy for you. When is the wedding?"

"Well, I don't really know yet. I just got enganged last night, so I haven't had all that much time to plan.

so I haven't had all that much time to plan. I do want to ask you if you can and will come to help me plan it. I've never really been good with this stuff." I confess to her honestly.

"Well Sweetie, you're right about that. You were always the rough and tough one while Prim was the girly daughter." My breath hitches and I'm in shock, she just said Prim's name. I can hardly do that and I definitely didn't expect my mom to be able to. "…and when I get down there we can…." I politely interrupt her.

"Mom, sorry caan you repeat that last sentence for me?"

"Of course. I was just saying that I would be honored to help you with this and when I get down there we can make the decisions. When do you want me there?"

"I don't know yet, as soon as possible?"

"The soonest I can get down there would be in a week or so. How long do you want me to stay?"

"However long you can please. This is all so new to me, but yet it feels so right."

"Ok, honey. I love you and I will call you when I pick up my ticket. Have a good day."

"Bye Mom, I love you too." With that I hang up and I feel relieved. I'm finally reconnecting with my mom after all this time. I think Prim would be proud of me. Oh, no, the only spare room in my house is Prim's old room. My mom's old room is occupied by Peeta and myself. My old room is used as Peeta's studio. I can't let my mom sleep in there without cleaning it out first. I decide that is what I'm going to tackle today. I will clear her things and put the things I want to keep in the attic.

Later that day I find myself taking a deep breath outside of her room and quickly turn the handle and let it open. Except for the dust it accumulated, it is exactly how she left it. The walls pink with white baseboards and picutures on the walls. My eyes follow the pictures one by one, taking due time for each one. They range from her and Rory to a picture of my fully intact family. I swallow when I see that one. That was the last picture we took with my dad, me being almost eleven while Prim was still toddling around only being four. This was one of the last times I saw my mom happy. Before he died, she was so full of live. Everyone says my dad had the beautiful voice, and I agree, but my mom also did. People just never heard hers. I remember watvhing her cook and listening to her sing any song she had in her head at that given moment. In the picture my dad has his arm wapped around her, a pure example of how, until his last breath, he lived for his family. I look at the little girl sitting on my mothers lap and I start to tear up. I miss her so much and she didn't deserve to die because of me. She was only an innocent kid, yet because of the cards she had been dealt, she suffered more than any other kid should ever have to. I miss this family, I really do. They may not have been rich in money, but they were wealthier than their wildest dreams with love. I interrupt my thoughts to go gently pick each picture up from the walls. I put them into a stack on her empty desk. I then look to her closet at all the dresses that I bought for her before I left for the Quarter Quell, things she never got to wear. I grab a trash bag from downstairs and fold each one and place it in there. I will take it to the Hob to give away.

Within two hours and several tears, I am finally done for the day. This surprisingly helped me heal. Closure, is what it was. Of course she will always be there, but this helps me think of all the good things about her and not how she died. I walk out of the room, but first placing my fingers to my lips and putting my hand up while whispering

"I love you Prim." With that I close the door.

* * *

After that I go take a much needed nap and for once, I don't see my sister's face before she died. Instead I see an image that I thought to be long forgotten.

I see my lake, along with a man talking to a little blonde girl by the katniss roots. I look closer and I realize that they are my father and Prim. Only the girl I thought to be little was most certainly not that. I'm looking at an amazingly beautiful young lady. They both look at me and slowly stand p only to walk over and hug me. My dad wraps me in his arms and I'm reminded about how strong his hugs were. They're a lot like Peeta's, making me feel safe and secure.

"Hey baby girl." He says to me.

"Hi daddy."

"Katniss, I'm so unbelievably proud of you. I've been watching you all along and the things you've accomplished, they are just amazing. I can't believe I'm face to face with this gorgeous young woman I see before me. You've overtaken a corrupt government, kept surviving even when it was hard, and now you're engaged. I wish I could have been there for you when you were growing up but even you learned how to do that by yourself." I can't believe my dad is here, at this point I'm crying because I'm so happy. I look over at Prim andI can't believe how grown up she is. SHe comes over and starts talking to me.

"Katniss, I love you so much. I'm proud of you too. I know all you ever wanted to do was protect me and even though you thought you failed you didn't, not even close. I was supposed to come here, while you are still needed there. Peeta wouldn't survive without you and I know, that one day I'm going to see you holding my neice r nephew. I know, I'm going to see and old you and Peeta watching your grandchildren and teaching them how to hunt. My point is, that don't think you did anything wrong, because you are doing everything right." I wrp my arms around her and kiss her forehead.

"I love you too kiddo. You don't know exactly how much I miss you and want you with me. My little duck. Thankyou for showing me this, and you."

My dad comes over and hugs both of us before he starts talking. "Ok girls, I love both of you but Prim, it's time to go. Your sister has Peeta waiting for her, and Katniss, don't let that boy go. He's good for you." I nod and soon i feel my eyes opening to see Peeta lying right beside me.

I lean over and kiss him and he wraps his arms around me and together we fall back asleep. I now know that we are going to be just fine as long as we are together. My dady taught me that.

* * *

**So, I don't really know when the next update is going to be, *crossing my fingers for tomorrow*, I did not expect that chapter to go that way at all but I hope you liked it and please feel free to tell me what you thought. **

**Until next time my lovely readers =)**


	12. AN

Hi Everyone,

I'm so sorry about not only not updating, but also because this is not a chapter. This story has really not gone in the direction I wanted, even though it would probably eventually end up there. In the start of this story both Peeta and Katniss had a lot of issues that they had to deal with that I think I made them get over to fast. All in all, I really am not proud of this story right now, so I will be re writing it and hopefully not taking as long this time because I got my computer back.

I would like to thank everyone who has followed or favorited either the story or myself. You do not understand how much each of you meant to me, and boosted my confidence while writing _Forever. _To each person who reviewed, I would like to say Thank you! All the help as well as compliments I took to heart. =) When I resubmit this please look out for it, and feel free to PM me anytime.

Thanks,

Alwaysremember01


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